Thursday, October 15, 2015

Dreaming Life and Time Loops

Finally...after ten days I am doing OK.    I can't remember being that sick for a long time.  The Cashier refunded my $2 for my toxic TV dinner when I went in  for ginger ale.  I tried to go in real early cause I wasn't looking good.  LOL  It's surprisingly busy that early in the morning and I have History with several of the cashiers.  I come back to this little town about every 5 years.  That is not how I ever saw my life play out.  There is a Beth in a parallel reality that is a chubbie cookie grandma who goes to all the basket ball games her grandkids play in Indiana, where they  have Sunday Dinner and have been in the same house for 50 years.  That Beth exists "Out There" and is the version that I'm really surprised I'm not living.    It's my nature to hunker down but I've had these unexpected logs cross  my path and Dream Bandits come out and spin my life around.  8 years ago I WAS that cookie grandma but in Farmington, New Mexico.  I had a sweet little balcony apartment  with wisteria running over the patio.  My landlords were art collectors and Jack is called the Godfather of Navajo Folk Art.  So it was a pretty chill few years.  Right downtown.  I could walk to summer music festivals.  The Public Pool was two blocks behind the Children's Museum.  Three Rivers Brewer and Pizza two blocks away and now takes up the whole block.  A must stop on your way out to see Shiprock.
Since that time I've been in Olympia and Vancouver Washington, back to Farmington, Durango, Aztec, Los Cruces, Farmington, Aztec, Santa Fe and now Aztec.  Actually, back in the same apartments I had 10 years ago, newly remodeled.  I'd be paying almost double if this place was in Santa Fe.  And I've been a time loop all summer.  And each move was initiated by some bizzarro circumstance.  But about six months ago, the two Bears that visit my Dreams said it was time to "Stop!".   Sort of like being in one of those spinning Wheels of Fortune.  Now it's come to a stop.  More like a rest.  I'm strongly "getting" that this is the lull before the storm.  What ever is going to happen will be played out by this time next year.    And I will look back and I see that the Tinkertoy of my life actually connects.  As Sandra, my Pastry Chef Friend would compare it to.....the cake's in the oven and we'll frost it this summer and can have a piece next September.  :)
And I'm ready.  Got all my ducks in a row and am starting to see the return on what I've sown.  Starting a couple little side businesses.  Simplified my life so it moves pretty efficiently.  Got a cute little apartment.   I can go with out having to work for about 6 months so now is the time to work on projects.  I start my morning walking to the River 3 blocks away.   Then  draw all afternoon.  I used to be very good.  Now I'm cartoonish so I'm giving myself a few months to get up to speed.  I make  things and one project is getting an online Gallery going.  The other is baking cookies.  My Girlfriend of 20 years, Margo, and I are going to bake cookies in her church kitchen and take them around town.  Both of us are at a point where we want to do something, but not much.  LOL   Margo lived in Hillary Clinton's neighborhood in high school.  Her brother was Hil's BFF and Margo drove them to the prom.
My Point is that I'm keeping  Life responsible yet loose enough that it can get "Dreamy".   I rarely know what day it is and I sleep at crazy times.  It makes me uncomfortable  because I've realized I'm slightly compulsive.  I like things predictable.  But Dreamy is what this summer has been and how all these images tie into each other like some  Rubegoldberg Tickertoy.
  Dreams that I had 15 years ago came true.  All the Characters started showing up this summer in Real Life.  That is why Jose is my Dream Man.  He's popped up quite frequently through the years in my dreams.  Then the week before he showed up, in my dream, he walked up behind me and wove our hands together.  He and Johnny are on the Race Track Circuit and were spending the summer with my neighbor.  So I hung out with the Jockeys this summer.  Guys who I had known for 15 years in my dreams.  And meeting them for the first time was just picking up where we left off.  It was VERY weird and trippy for me.  I had just met the Ginger Bear from my dreams of 15 years also who turned out to be Sandra.  Then I met the White Bear.  And then the Egyptian Scientist.
When I lived in these apartments 10 years ago I was dreaming of  Horsemen coming in on a black/white tiled floor.  And those Horsemen I recognized as some of the jockeys I met later.  Since I've been back in this place, only 4 months, I've had LOTS of dreams of Warriors arriving.  But more like Elementals.  Forest Warriors like out of Avatar.  The King came through the mirror in one dream, a little brown guy in a white loin cloth holding a spear with his Entourrage .  He had Presence!.  On their off time the Jockeys would meet at the River to fish the Pond in the Park.  Nice little park where they hold festivals.   There were several dreams of The Pond.  A little blue woman ran circles around the pond all night,  locking in some sort of magic and when I woke up my legs felt like I'd been running for hours.  At the time a bunch of us were reading "Mists of Avalon".  I'd go down to the Pond with the guys and read my book while they fished.  It got kind of spooky when what I would read would play out in real time.  In a subtle and more modern way. 

The Ladies of LaBoca decided to start a Book Club reading "Mist of Avalon".  Later someone realized that the illustrator for the book also was the artist of the paintings that hung in the restaurant and was Chef James' good friend.  He also did the illustrations for Celestial Seasons Teas.
The Michael Lee Band
They hold the Blues Fest in the Park.  I was behind the photographer when he shot this. 
Several "Triggers"  showed up.  I've  noticed lately that  many dream images mark a time rather than a meaning.  One Trigger is the light and shiny gym floors of my apartment.   They mean  "When you get to the Gym Floors then these Events will show up".  And they did.  Because my mind associates these floors with  BIG gym floors I trick myself  into feeling it's more spacious than it is.  Then certain people from my dreams showed up in real time and stood on those floors just like they did in the dreams.  The floor became a stage for dreams to unfold.  I was not comfortable. 
 The Point is NOT "This is My  Life",  but this is the World I live in when I see the future unfolding.    It's not the gym floors but what is outside the door.  It's gotten to where if "this" and "this" and "this" and "this" is true...well "THAT"  must also be coming.  Hmmm.

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