Friday, July 6, 2012

Riding the Crazy Train

I've really done it this time.
Exposure to the Star Trek Guy has left me in a very weird place.  I'm supremely indifferent to life right now.  The "place" that "he" comes from is beyond duality and I think that has something to do with it.
I feel like I am hovering above Life observing it without being a part of it.   Reality has expanded and I'm aware that there is more space than substance.  I've been in this "place" before but not to this extreme.  Usually after awhile I adjust to it and am hoping to also now.

What a crazy year this has been.  That was the theme of the move and I got what I asked for but still.  After a life of living on the fringes of the Twilight Zone I came to Santa Fe free to fully give myself over to the process.  I had fulfilled all my responsibilities so I could allow my life to be as free flow as was needed.  Too much for my family to watch and they left me to work it out while I deconstructed my life on many levels.

Meeting Patricia threw things in over drive.  The Angels strongly suggested not working while things shifted.  That put me in a very stressful place but I don't see how I could have been responsible enough to be employed with constant headaches which felt like my brain was being rewired.  Yet, I have been totally been taken care of.
Now the Dreams are of being at the end of the journey, the end of the path, the end of a tunnel.  Good. I'm exhausted.  But I hope it doesn't leave me stranded in this feeling of being between Life and Death.

"Crazy Train" - Ozzy

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