Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

Most everything is packed. I could put all my stuff in the back seat of a car. Maya is giving up her shop also. Our lives seem to parallel.
I've started over so many times. Why am I having such a feeling of mild dread? I read over my blog to get a clue. Three certainly seems to be the theme. It brought up a dream I had many years ago.

There were three full length oval mirrors, about ten feet from the beach in the ocean, set in a triangle. tilted up. Light started coming out of the mirrors and met at a point above where the three merge to form a laser light. Walking past on the sand was an oriental man with a big smile of double rows of teeth. A diamond set in each tooth.

I "get" that the third part of this "integration" will start soon and last till mid November...and that it will be difficult. I let that float in one ear and out the other. I don't want to "program" the experience. But things are feeling odd. Where will this lead? Can it get any more insane? I see now why my family has such a difficult time with me. LOL! I don't know if I could be a friend to me.

Tomorrow I'm picking up my camera after having it fixed. Sent off a bunch of Halloween cards. To the three year old I drew stick figures and hearts. Two go to England. One is to a gal I met this summer who had come to find the grave of her American GI dad that she didn't know. It was like finding a old friend. The other was to Lillian who I met when I went to England 20 years ago. I just found an old card from her. Me who throws out everything, how did I come to save that for so long. Will she still be there? 20 years ago! Where did the time go?

I won't have the Internet soon. I don't get a sense of being here till all this is over. I'm feeling lost. Even my Helpers left. Bear is always at my side and now all I find is a bear skin rug. I picked up an Eagle this summer and it has flown away. I would have thought they were my imagination run wild except for the information they gave me. Now I'm alone. Not sad, but disoriented.
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - Beatles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7F2X3rSSCU
Beta Binaural Beat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Snxs6eBVE&feature=fvw