New Wine into New Wineskins

"And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, he pours new wine into new wineskins."
Mark 2:22

I have really been in a quandary over whether to write about this part of the story, but I think it is important. It makes me sound crazy and that makes me nervous.

This path I've been traveling actually started when I was small. My first memories are of being full of terror of having to go to sleep. My mind would drift into the Void. I would lose my identity. It was a place of Black Eternity. Of course, I didn't realize what was going on at the time, nor could I verbalize it.
This led to having seizures. I don't remember that part and it isn't something my mother wants to talk about. My siblings had no idea to this day. I was taken to Chicago for an EEG. They said it wasn't epilepsy but had no idea what was going on and put me on phenobarb. It only made it worse.
When I was 5 I would go with my Grandmother who worked at Valparaiso University. I would wait for her in the Union watching American Bandstand with the college kids...high as a kite. They thought I was hip. LOL

Now this is my theory of what I think happened.
Because of these experiences I read everything I could to find an answer. I believe I had a classic case of Shaman awakening and at the time a Secondary Personality entered my body. I become beth/BETH. It was difficult. beth is very shy and BETH is bold. I confused people around me.

After my encounter with the Mayan and the Bell's Palsy I feel that beth left. I would "get" that I had died and would have many dreams of being with family who have passed. My mother has been having a lot of dreams where she sees me with my brother who died 8 years ago.
I feel less and less connected with the memories of beth. I have seen people lately who I have known for a few years who haven't recognized me or react to me very differently.

Now I feel that this God Energy is filling up this emptied vessel. What that energy is we will just wait and see.
Shamanism
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamanism
Phenobarb
http://www.rxlist.com/phenobarbital-drug.htm