Exposure to the Star Trek Guy has left me in a very weird place. I'm supremely indifferent to life right now. The "place" that "he" comes from is beyond duality and I think that has something to do with it.
I feel like I am hovering above Life observing it without being a part of it. Reality has expanded and I'm aware that there is more space than substance. I've been in this "place" before but not to this extreme. Usually after awhile I adjust to it and am hoping to also now.
What a crazy year this has been. That was the theme of the move and I got what I asked for but still. After a life of living on the fringes of the Twilight Zone I came to Santa Fe free to fully give myself over to the process. I had fulfilled all my responsibilities so I could allow my life to be as free flow as was needed. Too much for my family to watch and they left me to work it out while I deconstructed my life on many levels.
Meeting Patricia threw things in over drive. The Angels strongly suggested not working while things shifted. That put me in a very stressful place but I don't see how I could have been responsible enough to be employed with constant headaches which felt like my brain was being rewired. Yet, I have been totally been taken care of.
Now the Dreams are of being at the end of the journey, the end of the path, the end of a tunnel. Good. I'm exhausted. But I hope it doesn't leave me stranded in this feeling of being between Life and Death.
"Crazy Train" - Ozzy
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