Sunday, October 3, 2010

WTF?!?!


What the hell happened?
I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel but not sure what will happen next.

My mother kidnapped me and took me to Urgent Care. A classic case of Bell's Palsy. Not a stroke because I could touch my finger to my nose. We all glossed over the week long headache.
Now my face is about back to level but I kind of doubt that I will look the same. And I sense I have the brain function of a ten year old.

Mom whipped up a Prayer Circle, fed me and listened to my story while we hot tubbed. The most amazing part of this whole ordeal is that my very sensible Taurus mother felt it made sense. In fact, she ended up making contact with the part of me that had fragmented. A small girl comes to here now and though they don't talk the girl shows her things. Talking to spirits is not something my mother accepts nor wants but this just came to her and she has fallen in love with this child. In one of their adventures the girl found a rabbit which is what I am often in my dreams.

I don't know where things will lead from now. Everything seems upside down. Maya says it is because The Window closed and the planet shifted into 5th dimension. There is chaos while things adjust. I have to admit that I don't know much about this, but I agree on the chaos part.
Some views on the 5th Dimension:

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Lost and Found


I can't see well.
I'm wearing an eye patch and look like a pirate. But I'm going to work in the morning.
Everything is snapping back.
What a weekend. Even my harshest critics said "Well, THAT explains everything!"
I think I'll hide down in a bunker so my head doesn't explode and PowWow all night at
Mr. S, if I gave you this story, who would you tell it too? The Scribe chats fairly often with Bakshi's son.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Little Girl Lost


I had debated with myself if I should continue with this. Let me preface this essay with saying I'm normal. I'm well established in the business community for being a new comer. People make a point of asking my opinion. I present myself well and am well liked and respected. And then I have my crazy side. But it's been tempered by experience and educating myself.
I would suggest taking the rest of this as if it were a Fairy Tale. I'm not sure what is real and what is not any more.
*****
The headache continued. It felt like the center of my brain exploded. Then a dull hum started building in my right ear. "Maya, I feel like I have a trumpet in my ear." "You do. God is trying to open communications". Well, I had asked for that the night before. That and to be integrated with the other three parts of myself that were separated when the Mayan had my bits and pieces scattered to the Four Corners. And when I tell that story to people who know me, even if they think it is a Fairy Tale, they will say "It's plausible knowing Beth."

The earache got worse. I had dreams of meeting three new sisters and three horses running back and forth. When I tried to put on make up to go to work this morning something just wasn't right. Nothing matched from one side to the other. When I got to work, Maya stopped by and I breezily said "I think I might have had a stroke. Look at my eyebrows, there is an inch difference!" The look on her face scared me and I started to cry. She was all for taking me to the hospital right then. I knew that wasn't where the answer for me could be found. Within 15 minutes someone was found to man the store and Maya walked me home, gently insisting I go get checked out.

I called my Mom to start praying for me. We're Christian Scientists and that is how we handle it. The rest of the day was spent answering the phone. Half were ready to come pick me up and go to emergency and the other to say they were part of the prayer circle. I cried all day and I'm not sure over what. I did do some intensive visualization and prayers. It's one thing to have faith and another to be stupid. Each time I asked I got that my pain was not medical.

And this is why.
When I asked to have all my parts reunited that put things in motion. When the Mayan fractured the Child the parts went to the Four Corners of their universe. Which was the Galactic Center, the Sun and Venus. The fourth remained earth bound, tied to the MayaNanny. It was the only part that reincarnated since the sacrifice.
Now the Child from the Galactic Center is being drawn home. When I close my eyes I see hers. Child eyes but extremely old. Floating off in space for 1400 years, alone since the Mayan died. He had been her only contact, picking up information about Space and telling him about it. Over a thousand years of information and no one to talk to. Now she was down loading into me.

I "got" that the process is so overwhelming that the side of my face was deadened so that there would be little resistance. And that side of my face feels like it's been Novocained. My ear aches with the pressure. Maya thought it was interesting that the right side with the pain has lowered while the left side, the one connected to the right side of the brain, has actually tightened. It's giving me the weird lopsided affect. I "got" that when everything slows down both sides of my face will even out, but I'll look different. I don't have a medical emergency but definitely a mental one. I've been cautioned to stay relaxed so I don't go insane. I started crying over that. And for the lost child who has had no one to talk to.

Great 80's Videos

http://www.proxywhore.com/invboard/index.php?showtopic=211466&st=75
Some of my favorites (as Freud)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Spiral

Someone gave me some official medicinal herb for my headache and anxiety.
Inform-
nation
over-
load.
But looking back at my life I can see how this bizarre scenario has played out. I remembered when this spiral started. About when this picture was taken of my fridge right before I left for Portland. As a going away present, Mr. Cool paid for a session at the Cave with Ms. K, who is also my mother's acupuncturist.
Mr. Cool met Ms. K when he got treatment after a bike accident and then learned that she could clear out negative "attachments". Since I was giving everything away to make a move it seemed like a good idea.
The Cave is really cool. Ms. K built a room around it and it's her meditation room. I think I posted an essay about it. I'll have to look. She "saw" a handful "energies" around me, but I think of most of them as guardians. One, however, gave me the chills.
I was in a group of small girls and I'm about 9. We are in Mayan jungle on a path through the brush. Our teacher is following us. Ms. K asks "Is he a shapeshifter?". In that second the teacher and I caught eyes and he shifted into a jaguar. And he SAW me in that second through the child's eyes. I was too naive to look away and she was too young.
So he gave me to the Nanny-Priestess (Maya) to be groomed. My trust in her led me to the ritual. The Mayan hoped to catch some of the FarSight by fracturing the child's spirit. His was the last face I saw. The swordsman was someone with a past life in my close family. It was a High Honor to be sacrificed in that way in that age. But no one evidently ask me at the time what I thought. Maya said I have been fractured ever since. It's been a long time since I could feel my legs.
I'm having some interesting body sensations along with all of this. Trying to be observant and not read into things. It's already weird as it is. I get a sense also that I have been matching the little girl in real time. So the Jaguar spotted her 18 months ago and she died and I integrated both on September 12. If that was true you could research the Mayans progress. I have an idea who it might be. Or have a very interesting imagination.
What has returned which has been missing lo these many years?

Headache From Hell


It started with the contact with the Mayan. A slow building pressure at the center of my brain until I felt like a sword had pierced my skull. Then slowly the pain trailed down my spine about three inches a day. Finally I realized that this was not ordinary and went to Maya for some "insight".
"You have a sword in your spine. The Mayan put it there."

I've had medical insight before. If we experience trauma in one life often we are born with residual energy that affects our health in our current body. A healer can "see" the pattern and remove it and then put a psychic "band aid" on the "wound". It's a bit different from the Christian Science healing I learned from my Grandmother where you "see" the person's Perfection.

Maya pulled the sword out and "stitched" up the gap which turned out to be quite large. During the day we both would "get" little wisps of information which we checked out with the other. We were both getting the same story.

Seems that the Mayan was trying to access the Galactic Butterfly through me. I was a young priestess who had been drugged with the help of the Priest (Maya) and the Mayan literally cut me in two. My Soul had been split to explore the two sides of the Butterfly and I was to report to him. I was a Spirit in limbo and his slave. My body was then quartered and sent to the Four Corners. Some what ironic that I live in the Four Corners now.

I'm starting to feel whole again. I've never felt I was very grounded in this Reality. It is going to be interesting to see how my body operates after this. Physically I'm pretty healthy and look youthful, but that is due mostly to intense visualization. Still, I've always felt that most of me was somewhere else.

The Butterfly is also called the Hunab Ku. I have only skimmed through this article.
http://www.soulsofdistortion.nl/Galactic%20Butterfly.html

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Knock Knock


Who's there?
The last song on my turntable is